One Semester

Parody of “One Week” by the Barenaked Ladies. People and events referenced here are (almost) entirely fictional.

It’s been one week here in Unit 3
Classes haven’t started but the halls are still noisy
Five days ago we were at the DC eating
Pizza, pasta, cauliflower, broccoli
Three days since my roommate returned
Like me he’d forgotten everything he had learned
Today is our last day free.
But it’s good to be back here at UC Berkeley.

Come on guys where should we go now
Cause I could eat a cow, but the DC food is no good
There’s La Burrita and the pizza, crepes, Chinese, Korean, Thai
and Tako Sushi; just the Telegraph neighborhood.
But my meal points I’ve got too many
I never spend any
Because I’m all about value
We could go to the GBC,
Just to try it, see
You go to Crossroads, well, forget you.
Always the Den but then again
The coffee cinnamon
has gotten worse though it’s the best thing that you can get from them.
I guess I’m givin’ up, I’ve had enough
The situation feels rough
The best thing I can
eat is just ramen.

How can I help it if I flier for the clubs I’m in?
I know you hate me for it but I’ll keep on doin’ it.
I’m the kinda guy who sings walking up the hill.
Can’t understand what I mean? Well, you soon will.
I have a tendency to write the answers on my sleeve.
I have a history of dropping least one course.

It’s now one week into February
I think by now I should probably do my laundry.
Five days since Math 1B
I flunked the midterm cause I couldn’t define e.
It’s been three days since the afternoon
I fell asleep in the Latimer lecture room
Tomorrow, test in Chemistry
Don’t know if I can survive here at Berkeley.

I’m on my laptop, I’m typin’ and clickin’
Essay due tomorrow and the clock is tickin’
Sources all on Wikipedia
The multimedia
I’m playing Flash, Macromedia
Like Sawyer from Lost I’m getting kinda pissed
It seems that I missed
A dinner party with my whole floor
At my high school I had straight As
Now I don’t get As
But I don’t really care anymore
Now I really gotta focus
somehow do my hocus-pocus
on my essay so I get out of here and go do something int’resting
Read an e-mail from a female
friend with detail on her life at UOP and realize
that it’s keeping me from concentrating

How can I help it if I always watching the singing groups?
I get to class late but every time my mood improves.
I’m the kind of guy who always finds some time to kill.
Can’t understand what I mean? Well, you soon will.
I have a tendency to always wear short sleeves.
I have a history of skipping my class.

It’s now one week ‘til we’re almost free
That is, if all my finals don’t kill me
Five days since my professor says
You might get a B if you try your very best
Three days since the start of gloom
People from our floor were drunk in the bathroom
Yesterday, I decided to be
Happy that I now go to UC Berkeley.

I really like it here at UC Berkeley.
That is, as long as my finals don’t kill me.
Go Bears, and beat the Stanford Tree…

Written about two weeks ago.

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