“Come on!” Elaine shouted to Edward.

“I was never in track!” he shouted back.

The two of them raced through the streets of the Tournament City, hardly recognizing what they saw. There was no battlefront, no line between the heroic defenders of Speech and the villainous demons that wished to bend the tournament to their own will. Instead, there were spontaneous rounds forming all over the place, and just as suddenly, ending. Rounds without a judge, rounds with uneven numbers of contestants, rounds starting on time. It was chaos.

Elaine glanced to her left and skidded to a stop. “The cookies!” she cried, “They got rid of the cookies!” Despair threatened to overwhelm her as she looked at the ruined Mrs. Fields.

Edward slowed a little, enough to grab her sleeve. “Come on!” he cried, trying unsuccessfully not to imitate her opening line. Elaine caught it but allowed herself to be pulled back into motion.

“I forgot…you used…to live here,” Edward said between strides. Elaine nodded numbly. “Whoa, here we go!”

The two of them slowed to a stop, and Elaine gasped as Min Ju was flung backwards through the air. She caught her novice with an oomph, and set her back on her feet. “You all right?”

Min Ju blinked, and Elaine could still see the paralyzing nervousness in her eyes.

“Remember, confidence!” Edward said loudly. Min Ju jumped, startled, and looked over at him. And Elaine felt grateful: Edward had a wide smile and, if he had any of his usual mocking attitude, he was at least hiding it pretty well. “Forget about the other competitors. You’re telling them how awesome you are. It’s only incidentally about…uh…”

“Tuna,” Min Ju said, and smiled. “All right, I’m OK.” The demon from the Lee-Land hissed at them, but Min Ju just turned the smile into a smirk.

“Just imagine he’s Alan,” Elaine whispered, and grinned as Min Ju jumped back into the fray with a perfectly executed anecdote.

“Where are the others you were with?” Edward called, business-like again as Min Ju finally dispatched the monster with a conclusion tying in to the Fate of the World.

She frowned. “We got split up. I can’t tell too much, but I think they’re trying to keep us away from the tower.” Edward and Elaine both looked up to the tall, foreboding building.

Elaine looked at Edward first. With wordless communication, they came to an agreement. Somehow. (Actually, if they had used words, they probably would have come to an argument instead.)

“All right,” said Edward decisively, “We need you to organize the novi, to draw as much of their defense away from the tower as possible.”

“And try to find another group,” Elaine added, “It’s not safe to travel alone.”

Min Ju nodded and flushed a little with pride. Grinning, she threw a salute and sped off.

“Ah, the energy of youth,” Edward said, and took a step one square to the right. “Aw, shoot.”

“You want to take lead on this one?” Elaine asked.

“Not really,” Edward said, but he nodded anyway. The Hahr Kerr agents facing them growled and held out a sheet of paper.

This House should censure parodies based on real people.

“All right,” said Elaine, not showing any fear at all. “We’ll take opp.” The Hahr Kerr agents hissed at her. “You picked the topic, so we get choice of sides,” she continued in a “no-nonsense” tone of voice.

“Er, what?” Edward muttered, “I think prop would have been easier.” Elaine glared briefly at him.

Then the Lee-Lander started speaking. “What, no prep time?” Elaine yelped. Edward whipped out two pieces of paper and, wordlessly, tossed a pen to her.

「The political and celebrity figures of this land have long been plagued with the parodic actions of their lessers, those who wish to bask in reflected glory…」 the Hahr Kerr Prime Minister began. As Edward began formulating his argument, he noticed that Elaine seemed to be wating for something. And sure enough, about 61 seconds into the speech…

“Point of Info! Can you explain how the untarnished glory of celebrities leads to a more stable society‽”

It was set to be a long, grueling match, and as Elaine was presenting their case he was forced to use his “Shut Up and Refute” to keep them on track. In some ways it was easier than debating against Daniel. But he wasn’t sure they were going to win.

Then a figure appeared in the blowing smoke, a sight Edward had thought only appeared in animé. “The government has not replied to any of the opposition’s contentions regarding parodies of non-celebrities. This implies that the opponent does not disagree that these parodies are acceptable, and this should be extended across.” The Hahr Kerr team hissed and yowled, but Edward could see they were trapped now. Not to mention outnumbered.

With a great leap, the other team forfeited, bounding away before their escape route was completely cut off. “Thanks for that,” said Edward, cautiously holding out his hand.

The man took it with a firm grip. “Eric,” he said, by way of introduction.

“I’m Elaine, and this is Edward,” Elaine said in response, stepping forward. Then she froze. “Kushal‽”

Eric stepped to the side as Edward looked past, and lo! there was the entire “rescue Andrew” group! Kushal and Gordon were in front, swapping insults and jokes. Gordon raised a hand. “Hey, Edward and Elaine, right? Good to see you too again!”

Behind them were Ivy, Persia, and a third woman Edward didn’t recognize. All of them looked much grimmer than Kushal and Gordon, but Kellie was desperately trying to keep everyone spirits’ up with card tricks. At the back of the procession were Richard and another man (tallish with brown hair), and Edward was heartened to see that they were supporting Andrew between them.

“Guys, I’m fine now, really!” Andrew insisted, and slapped himself on the chest to prove it. Immediately he went limp and started spasming.

“What’s the good of the talent of being able to put power into things,” Richard said exasperatedly, “if you use it to defibrillate yourself?” He and the other man hauled Andrew back to his feet and came up to stand behind everyone else.

And then Edward heard Elaine say, “Oh…” He turned to look at her but she was looking past him, and grinning. He turned around—

And Kellie jumped forward and kissed him on the mouth.

Elaine continued grinning. Richard raised an eyebrow. Persia snrked…and then everyone started laughing.

“What?” said Edward, still holding on to the last shreds of hope of recovering his dignity.

Elaine shook her head. “We all knew, go ahead,” she managed, then burst out laughing again.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Edward has a GIRLFRIEND?” came the call from behind them.

“Shut up, Alan!” Edward called back, and then even he had to start laughing.

“So, why are you here?” Elaine asked once the laughter had died down.

“General Min Ju,” Alan began, with as much insolence as he could put into those five syllables, “would like you to know that the Parliamentary Rebellion Auxiliary Team is ready to put its Diversionary Tactics into Action. Er, action.”

“Does that spell—” Persia began, but Edward cut her off.

“‘General Min Ju’, huh?” he said, “Feel free to take her down a peg for that.” Alan’s face brightened visibly. “And then, try to follow her leadership for now,” Edward continued, “We need a temporary leader out here right now.” Alan’s face fell but he nodded grudgingly.

“Then tell her we’re ready,” Elaine announced.

Alan stood up straighter. “Aye-aye, cap’n!” he said, and took off, weaving through the streets like an unmanned shuttle through Saturn’s asteroid belt.

Edward ran through something in his head. Same numbers, different people… “What happened to Fritz and Da Seul?”

Richard shrugged. “They’ll be back.” Edward stared at him. “Kellie, explain.”

“OK, so,” Kellie began, tugging down on her jacket, “Da Seul has the talent to Get a Ride. That means that she’ll be there when she needs to be. Or, well, here.” She nodded. Edward raised his eyebrows but accepted the consensus.

“So, what’s the plan?” asked Kushal.

“We think Tim and Tina are being held in that tower,” Edward explained, “Jin, Flora, and Christine have gone on ahead to see if they can get them out on their own, but they’re gonna need backup. The novi are going to provide a diversion for us to try and draw defenses away, and now that they’re organized, we can be that backup.” Elaine nodded affirmatively.

“Tim and Tina?” Eric breathed.

“Wait, you know them?” Edward asked. Eric’s eyes were shifting from lighthearted to dangerous.

“Let’s go,” he said, and started walking towards the tower. His fist was clenched.

The others looked at each other, then began to follow him. An eerie light was shining from the tower, now, and the clouds were closing in around the sun.

This entry was posted on August 16, 2008 and is filed under S&D story.