I never meant for it to turn out this way.

It was supposed to be a game. A bit of harmless fun. I never got to have fun in the woods.

It was the first one to take notice of me. Oh, the forest folk knew I lived in there, but that was little comfort. None of them ever come in to play with me, and they know as well as I do that it’s not like I can come out. I know the woods like the back of my hand, but the woods know me as well, and they…

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At last
it is time.

After several long years of struggle and toil,
Islands to conquer, heroes to foil,
The circle complete, the end in sight
And all the world would bow tonight.

Too long have I waited, while they named me fool
Now the world is a mess—that I can rule.
Lady Luck is a trollop, Real Life is a bore,
Stick with me, and be hungry no more!

So, minions, assemble! Our time has come
No walrus here, but I, not dumb,
Will shout my vict’ry across all the land
And hold them in the palm of my…

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Here’s a story that must be told,
Of love and beauty, skill and grace.
Of gaining power and losing face.
And how I conquered all the World.

It started not too far from here.
When I was not as old as you
Before they lost the towns I knew
Before we all had learned to fear.

My father was a woodcutter.
Though we were poor, we had our life.
Though without my mom, his wife,
Who passed away with my brother.

Fast forward to when I was ten.
My dad was put under arrest.
They said it all was for…

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